Ass-flavored energy for sale

My sister thought I needed to blog this…

We were talking during Karaoke one night last weekend and somehow I remembered that I had brought her the 5-hr energy that I didn’t finish because I couldn’t choke the rest down, but she downs that stuff all the time.

Her: How old are these?

Me: I have no idea. They’ve been sitting in my drawer for a while. They don’t go bad. There’s nothing in them to spoil.

Her: Yes, they have vitamins in them…

Me: Vitamins don’t spoil. They just get less potent. I can’t drink them. They taste like Sweet-N-Low, which I already hate, minus the Sweet. I can’t handle the after taste. (My throat literally closes on stuff like that, and my gag-reflex kicks in: my body is refusing to consume it.)

Her: <takes a swig> Ew. Why did you get this flavor? I always get pomegranate. That’s the least icky flavor.

Me: They didn’t have pomegranate… they had this. And “Ass”.

Her: <laughing> What flavor is “Ass”?

Me: I’m not sure. I think it’s supposed to be grape or some shit they just made up. It’s like they had no idea what actual fruit flavor tastes like.

I guess they can’t market it as just being “chemically” flavored, even though that’s what it tastes like.


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